The Lovers:
Aphrodite and Ares are our Lovers. Not in the happily-married-and-still-silly-about-each-other kind of way, mind you; no, they were more the clandestinely-sneaking-around-on-a-cuckholded-spouse sort. The spouse in question was Hephaestus, Hera’s son, whom she’d crippled in a fit of rage. To make it up to him, she’d compounded his troubles by marrying him to the fairest goddess on Olympus, the lovely Aphrodite. This was despite the fact that Hephaestus was traditional, conservative and hardworking, while Aphrodite was freespirited, sexually amoral and not particularly industrious. Think Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe. To make matters worse was the fact that nobody had bothered to ask ‘Dite how she felt about being married to the ugliest god in the Pantheon. Yeah, it was the classic match made in hell.
Needless to say, it wasn’t too long before ‘Dite’s roving eye found a happy substitute for her unwanted husband in the form of the dashing Ares (along with half the other gods on Olympus and an occasional mortal thrown in for kicks). But Ares was her most frequent companion, sneaking into Hephaestus’ house whenever the unwary god was away and partying hardy with the Mrs. Of course, as you’d expect, they were eventually seen, by peeping tom Helius, who went straight to the wronged husband. Yes, the ancient Greek myths were worse than a soap opera. They were usually funnier, too. Because Hephaestus was the god of the forge and a canny inventor of new magical items. He quickly created a chain that couldn’t be broken, even by a god, and spelled it to his bed. The next time ‘Dite and Ares got jiggy with it, the chain trapped them for all to see. And Hephaestus made sure to invite everyone who was anyone on Olympus to witness their shame.
It didn’t work out quite as he’d planned, though. Because ‘Dite, never one to feel much shame anyway, enjoyed being the center of attention, especially after Hermes slyly pointed out that there wasn’t a man there who wouldn’t have made the same choice as Ares, even knowing he’d be caught, for the chance at a little Aphrodite lovin’. Poseidon, trying to keep peace in the family (and to score a few points with ‘Dite) finally talked Hephestus into releasing the couple. Ares stomped off in a snit, having been laughed at by every god and goddess in the pantheon, but ‘Dite took it all in stride. According to legend, her entire reaction was to go off for the immortal equivalent of a day at the spa.
If the Lovers card comes up in a reading, it rarely points to the start of an innocent new romance. Rather it’s all about choices, be they romantic or otherwise. The card indicates that the querent is soon to discover a person, career path or thing that will completely enthrall them. They will feel like they simply have to have the object of their desire regardless of the cost. As Hermes pointed out, it might even be worth the price. But there will be a price, and it may be high.
The Lovers reversed:
Aphrodite, goddes of love, and Ares, her frequent paramour, are our Lovers. Now, Aphrodite is usually depicted as a charming, smiling goddess in some ideal setting. But outside the photo ops, she could be a real bitch. One of her lesser known attributes was to swiftly punish any mortals who chose poorly in matters of the heart. And she wasn’t Ms. Nice Guy when she went about it, either. When the nymph Eos slept with Ares, a jealous Aphrodite caused her to be constantly in love, thereby becoming the world’s first nymphomaniac. When the women of Astypalaea claimed to be more beautiful than she, ‘Dite made them grow cow’s horns. And when Nerites, a minor sea god, refused to leave the sea to be with her on Olympus, she turned him into a mollusk.
Anyone treading on ‘Dite’s right to govern all sexual relations could also expect to see the ugly side of the goddess of love and beauty. The best known example here is the story of crazy old King Glaucus of Corinth, who refused to allow his mares to breed in order to make them fiercer in battle. When ‘Dite found out, she must have already been in a snit. Because she promptly arranged to have his horses throw him in a race and then—wait for it—to eat him.
If the Lovers upright is about choices, the lovers reversed is about a bad decision that is soon regretted. As Glaucus found out the hard way, Love is not always kind. And choosing badly can bite you.