The Lovers:
Aphrodite
and Ares are our Lovers. Not in the happily-married-and-still-silly-about-each-other
kind of way, mind you; no, they were more the clandestinely-sneaking-around-on-a-cuckholded-spouse
sort. The spouse in question was Hephaestus,
Hera’s son, whom she’d crippled in a fit of rage. To make it up to him, she’d
compounded his troubles by marrying him to the fairest goddess on Olympus, the lovely
Aphrodite. This was despite the fact that Hephaestus was traditional,
conservative and hardworking, while Aphrodite was freespirited, sexually amoral and
not particularly industrious. Think Joe
DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe.
To make matters worse was the fact that nobody had bothered to ask
'Dite how she felt about being married to the ugliest god in the
Pantheon. Yeah, it
was the classic match made in hell.
Needless to say, it wasn’t too long before ‘Dite’s
roving eye found a happy substitute for her unwanted husband in the
form of the dashing Ares (along with half the other gods on Olympus and an
occasional mortal thrown in for kicks). But Ares was her most
frequent companion, sneaking into Hephaestus’ house whenever the unwary god was
away and partying hardy with the Mrs. Of course, as you’d expect, they were
eventually seen, by peeping tom Helius, who went straight to the wronged
husband. Yes, the ancient Greek myths were
worse than a soap opera. They were
usually funnier, too. Because Hephaestus
was the god of the forge and a canny inventor of new magical items. He quickly created a chain that couldn’t be
broken, even by a god, and spelled it to his bed. The next time ‘Dite and Ares got jiggy with
it, the chain trapped them for all to see.
And Hephaestus made sure to invite everyone who was anyone on Olympus to
witness their shame.
It didn’t work out quite as he’d planned,
though. Because ‘Dite, never one to feel
much shame anyway, enjoyed being the center of attention, especially after Hermes
slyly pointed out that there wasn’t a man there who wouldn’t have made the same
choice as Ares, even knowing he’d be caught, for the chance at a little
Aphrodite lovin’. Poseidon, trying to
keep peace in the family (and to score a few points with 'Dite) finally talked Hephestus into releasing the couple. Ares stomped off in a snit, having been
laughed at by every god and goddess in the pantheon, but ‘Dite took it all in stride. According to legend, her entire reaction was to go off for the immortal equivalent of a day at the spa.
If the Lovers card comes up
in a reading, it rarely points to the start of an innocent new romance. Rather it’s all about choices, be they
romantic or otherwise. The card
indicates that the querent is soon to discover a person, career path or thing
that will completely enthrall them. They will feel like they simply have to
have the object of their desire regardless of the cost. As
Hermes pointed out, it might even be worth the price. But there will be a price, and it may be
high.
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